The Web

The best way I can explain what I felt and saw was akin to a web, and I was the spider.

6 months ago

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When I was 17 years old, I experienced what some would consider my first “spiritual awakening.”

Through my time, I have noticed mine wasn’t like others. I did not induce it through hallucinogens, meditation or deep studying of books. Something cracked me open through trauma.

After a particular experience where I underwent hours of abuse, I collapsed in exhaustion. In this moment, it pushed me past a threshold of mental, emotional and physical torture and I had an out-of-body experience.

In this experience, I witnessed a blue-white light as strings shooting out of my body. It suddenly connected me to everyone and everything in the world. I felt every vibration through these strings.

The best way I can explain what I felt and saw was akin to a web, and I was the spider.

It showed me what I call the “Natural Web of Life.” The natural and subtle energies that tie us to each other and the natural world around us. Those who can tap into this web can feel the subtle vibrations of the world.

After this experience, I started receiving messages, visions and an intuitive knowing I have no words to explain. I just knew things. This was in the late 00s, and social media was in its infancy.

I felt alone. No one understood what I was experiencing. So I locked it away, and out of fear(and severe trauma) I ran from it via drug usage.

While I was homeless and roaming the streets of some of the most dangerous cities along the West Coast, I learned how to “read” people.

I could pick up on their thoughts, their intentions and motives. I saw and could smell entity possession. I did not develop my gifts through normal means, but through an attempt to survive trauma.

As I pulled myself from addiction in my mid-20s, I revisited the web.

Suddenly, I realized I was lost between two worlds. The natural world and the superficial. As I looked around one morning, seeing civilization for what it was in this day and age… I felt lost. But I also felt lost in the “natural world.”

I didn’t know who I was, what I was, or where I truly belonged in this society. As I turned to my phone for comfort, I suddenly revisited the web. But it was in a novel form, in fact.. It wasn’t the web at all. It was a false, superficial mockery of the web.

In 2016, I realized the web had been hijacked and, for most people, replaced with a superficial web.

Sure, it connected us to so many people, ideas, and energies across the world. But at what price?

Social media and the internet mimicked the natural web I had met 10 years prior. And through this web, information is fed and one can easily manipulate and feed into it.

It gave place to corrupted “weavers” to fluctuate and change the course of humanity.

It fed into people, sucking them dry as they attempted to fill the natural need we have for connection. We all crave to be connected to ourselves, our loved ones and the world.

As we have removed ourselves from this natural connection of the past couple hundred years through various means, we crave this connection. And a “replacement” was found.

The issue we have is, because of the falsehood around this web, it is more of an addiction.

We still feel hollow, we still feel empty, as there is nothing that can truly replace the natural connection we are supposed to have with the natural web.

I have had many experiences that reaffirmed many of my visions and concepts, but the one that has always stayed in the back of my mind was when I was connected with a local Indigenous Elder.

This Elder confirmed what I was, who I was, and the visions in which I experienced. The most Earth-shattering moment was watching them come to tears as I explained that my visions, including the web, aligned with one of their Elders.

To this day, I still never truly understand why this has happened to me and why I get these experiences.

During fall of 2019, I felt one of the hugest disruptions within the natural web.

The best way I can explain it would be as a spiritual, cosmic earthquake. I literally watched my phone slide off the table about 6 inches and fall to the floor, shattering my screen. It was at that moment I knew something big was coming.

Since then, I have felt what I can only explain as minor tremors through the cosmos. May I quote

“I felt a great disturbance in the Force. As if millions of voices cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.” - Obi Wan Kenobi

During these times, I find it difficult when the web is so full of hurt, pain, hatred, and suffering. However, it is through hope that I find the ability to move through it.

May we unweave what was woven.

May we unweave the strands of negativity others have woven, cocoon them and prevent their causing further harm.

May the webs of fate weave of peace, hope, and unity.

So is the way of forever.

All will be well.

Roxi Phoenix

Published 6 months ago


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