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Interview with a Comic Book Character

CMC: You call yourself the last true mage. Can you explain that a bit? VERONE: No.

6 months ago

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Nathaniel Verone is a mystery, a fiction, but real all the same.

He's the lead character in the comic book The Last True Mage and a thought form of infamous repute. Rare is it he gives an interview to anyone, being mostly imaginary and all.

Whether they're protecting the Omniverse from untold dangers or serving drinks on karaoke night at Club Zer0, Verone is known for stirring the pot!


CMC: So, how did you get into magick?

VERONE: Is this one of those interviews? That’s kinda lame, innit? ‘How did you get into magick?’ It fell off the back of a fuckin’ truck and hit me in the head like Daredevil. That’s my secret origin.

CMC: Um… okay. Thanks. You call yourself the last true mage. Can you explain that a bit?

VERONE: No.

VERONE: Holy shit. Do I ever. I wrote a list the other day…

*scrambles around for a moment*

VERONE: I filled up a whole notebook. But anyway… yeah, the 21st century occult world is kind of a Hot Mess Express.

CMC: Would you care to elaborate on that?

VERONE: No.

CMC: *coughs* Alright. It seems you recently left Facebook calling it, “the realms of high school grade magicians.” People have routinely called you antagonistic. Some have called you a bully. What do you have to say about that?

VERONE: Nothing.

CMC: *stares blankly*

VERONE: *lights a cigarette, inhales deeply, thinks* I take that back. I have something to say about that.

CMC: Oh, thank fucking Christ…

VERONE: *hits ciggy, blows smoke* I think people take shit entirely too personally. They like to shovel their mental baggage on others so they can pretend their life isn’t shit itself. Sometimes the easiest thing to do to make yourself feel better is to assume you’re superior.

*hits ciggy again, blows smoke* If we’re being honest, the thing most people are scared to do is face their own traumas and attempt to overcome them. If they manage that, then what excuse do they have for their achingly self-indulgent procrastination?

*hits ciggy again, blows smoke* In fact, imagine a world where we all didn’t lay responsibility for ourselves at the feet of others. Wouldn’t that be cool? You put work into yourself just to be better. Not to be popular or loved by anyone, but because you love yourself.

*hits ciggy again, blows smoke* I think it’s important, ya know, to self-evaluate yourself and shit from time to time. Really helps tame the old ego.

CMC: Wow. That’s pretty profound. Can we talk about your relationship with Roxi Phoenix now?

VERONE: No.

CMC: Fuck you, man. You’re fucking impossible to work with… I fucking hate this job!

VERONE: Mmm-hmm. Okay, later tater!

*Faint pop noise as Verone disappears*


TLTM: A Pirate's Tale

Verone sat calmly, in the captain’s galley, on his pirate mage throne. He petted his companion and guard, the familiar Gregory, a bulldog like no other.

“The ship’s ready ta launch, cap’n,” came the grizzled voice of the goblin master.

“The Gator follows?” asked Verone.

“Does indeed, cap’n.”

“Good.”

Verone stood, eyes wild, and took his buccaneer hat he bought off Etsy. Today was the day. It was time to launch the assault.

The doors slammed open to the deck as he made his way with pomp and flourish through the groupings of the goblin crew. The bulldog strode next to him. He mounted the stairs to the bridge and took his place.

Staring out at the hungry army of freed goblins, enthralled by the gurgling anger of the monster that swam alongside them, Verone smiled.

“Today, wee forgotten things, things that would be used, I grant you more than freedom, aye?”

The goblins nodded and the dog looked at him, awestruck.

“The wars against the realities end today, and the Dark Ship Punkadelic roams the ancient seas of the in-between.”

Goblin roars. Dog barks.

“Today we run them to ground, into the maw of the True Mage Armies. We shine the light and we kick some dirt in their eye! We punch them in the taint and sneer!”

Goblin and Dog howls.

“The Man-O-War has arrived, lads and lasses. Let’s raise a little hell.”

Cheers abound.


Coming in 2022
Joe Forest

Published 6 months ago

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